|
| days that made me feel balh... seriously blah, like killer blah i miss those days of happyness of where i would be free and find a new adventure every day. i just wish the rest of my lifetime could be like that, traveling with nothing holding me back, wiht no worries, with no faults, with no one stopping me, only me making my special adventure into the world traveling all sights and seas. all my dreams and thoughts are about this...and when i wake up from them, reality kicks in and its just antoher day of school, another day of work, another day chained down the road i live on. | | |
| need a mp3 player? im selling mine... for $100.00! 20gb holds over 1000 songs, i've held up to 2000 plus. i've never gotten to see how much this baby can hld. i've decided to sell this one for a new mp3 player. if you purchase this creative zen it comes w/ a usb port, wall charger, pouch clip, headphones, and a gift recipt so you can return the mp3 and get a new one whenever you feel like it. its a pretty good bargin i paid about 250.00-300.00 for it. the chords for the usb and the charger are a bit chewed by my dog. but you can always return those to the store and get brand new ones. i'd like to get this baby sold asap b/c my dead line is november 17th for my payment of my new mp3 player. if you can't pay $100.00 because it is an expense problem it is possible to negotiate. cash only please!!! i am also flexible with payment plans. if you are interested in purchasing this brand new creative zen mp3 player please do contact me 517-9205 or email me at yangly03@hotmail.com | | |
| goodbye Jack Doyle i will forever miss you, my dear friend. i never got to take you to partys, i never got to take you to hang out with the big guys, i never got to know you so well to where i knew you were hurting inside. but what i know, is that when i had the time to see tom, i'd always make sure to see you. i miss those days of calling you pimpjuice, i miss those days of when you shot a piece of a crayon at tom...i miss those days entirely. i never told you how much you meant to me, i never told you how nice you were, i never told you that if i could choose you or tommy that i'd date you instead of tom, i never told you i had a little brohter crush, i never told you anything...and im sorry that you didn't hear it from me. i will always remember you, i will always love you, i wish that you RIP. and the saturday that i will come and visit you one last time before you go 8 feet under, i will gaze deeply into you as your body is ever so rested, so suttle, and skin as cold as ice. RIP pimpjuice...i will never call anyone pimpjuice again...you are the only one entitled to that...ONLY ONE... | | |
| a cry out to you LORD... lately i have been feeling that i have fallen deeper further away from you than i believe i should be. i feel as if i should be closer to you and i feel like i should be feeling better of myself more than ever before this summer. after me getting baptized, i told myself that i'd devote my life and my ways to you, it was either all in or nothing...as for i have counted myself on the wide road, and not on the narrow road. many may dissagree saying if you are baptized you are on the narrow road...as for i, i believe getting baptized its all abotu change. as my "Paul" had told me, "even if you get baptized, its all about you changing its not about you being holy already..." i have fallen back into the ways that i was before, i have fallen back already into the person i wish i was not. i have tried to commit myself to you lord, but it seems that every time i have made it so far, i somehow end up falling back down again. i need you to guide me, and although you may forgive me, i want you to stay by my side and help guard me and the things that i choose to do. i want you to help me fight the temptation, and i want you to give me the stregnth i need to keep on living the way my life should be every day. i had a dream, and my dream was that i went to hell... forever darkness i stayed in, and never saw the light of day again, i had failed to open my eyes and live the way i should, i had fallen back to the deepness of the devils grasp and failed to let my self free... i am traped, i am weak, and i need your stregnth to help me get up onto my feet, and moving closer back to you lord and stepping back onto the narrow road again. i understand i have missed out on church today, and church days after that, and i have regretted every single day that i had missed it. although i believe that i have reasonable excuses Lord, i will understand the consequences that you put me through for doing so. punish the wrong, and reward the right. but Lord am i wrong for these events that happend so soon that i could not put a stop to?? was it wrong for me not to attend church due to family matters? i pray to you Lord, that somehow in my dreams, or somehow in my life as i live day by day knowing that you are coming closer to me...my time is running short to become one of your sacred angels. the end is near, and i know that, in fact i know that i lay in fear knowing or having a huge hunch that i am headding towards hell. i believe so because, througout my lifetime, i haven't experienced anything that has strongly frightened me or strongly moved me to somehow...make me want to be closer to you, and im cutting out the whole experience of HLUB 2006. i do remember acouple years back, i had seen a scary movie, and i felt such darkness, frightfullness that surrounded me as i slept, and all i could do was pray to you over and over agian, to take these frightening thoughts out of my mind, and somehow...they had left my mind....and then i remember when i saw another frightening film, all i could do is pray and sing songs about you Lord. and i had fallen asleep singing to you, of such fear i held deep within me...i somehow, knock myself back down...thinking im not good enough to be one of your angels. i got invited for next weekend to go to a party of all the ones that had gotten baptized this summer at hlub. and i know i can not make it. but its due to another one of those events that just seem to stop me, and i just can't go around. Lord...i know i haven't gone to fellowship/biblestudy in a really long time, and its due to those same events that i do not attend...how am i to change that Lord? how am i to..be so selfish and not make enough time for you lord...just one or two days a week...why am i still so selfish, of after wanting to be all yours, after wanting to be only yours lord. i pour out my thoughts that i still have in question...and in prayer i hope i'll get my answers. for all of you that have read this...please do pray for me to help me get my answer. | | |
| not the best day of the week... pretty much i thought these past two weeks have been going great. and then right after hoemcoming this week...its been a disaster. on my dads birthday. i strongly hate him at this moment...just every time i think about it it makes me really upset and im gettting tearyeyed just thinkging bout it. so i'll cut it short. in photography class, developing film, not quite done w/ project that is due today. tell my mom in the morning, shes ok w/ it dad's ok w/ picking me up later today b/c i have no money. comes to pick me up and have a HUGE FIGHT breaks me down, i cry, im emo, yeah what ever. drama happens and now im alone and go off to steam. [the end] | | |
|
